Thursday, December 4, 2008

Great Kat is a FAKE!

I feel like I've been lied to for a long time. The Great Kat is this not so famous guitar player that really wants your attention for playing top 40 classical songs on her guitar in a very fast thrash metal style. Sort of like Joan Jett meets Yngwie Malmsteen I guess. Shes never played in any "band." Apparently she was just born famous with a scrunchee around her wrist, worthy of being worshiped. She has apparently won all sorts of accolades from dorky guitar magazines and such. My friend rented this DVD from netflix to satiate his curiosity about her, and hopefully see some impressive guitar playing. Given the circumstances you would think this wouldn't be hard to find on this dvd but it is in fact exactly what the dvd is devoid of! There's 5 shoooooooort videos which are ridiculous and don't show any footage of her playing guitar. Its pretty apparent that they are waving cameras around her enough that you cant see her fumbling about the fretboard in a severely amateur fashion. I didn't actually count, but I think there's more footage of her tits than there is of her playing guitar. The "live in Chicago" footage is a laughably faked performance that also doesn't have any footage of her playing guitar. So we resorted to youtube, figuring there's gotta be something there. I invite you to check out her official channel there:

The longest video contained there is :15 in length. Rather telling, eh? The only footage we were able to find is this: As you can see her stage antics are way more important than actually playing music, and all the music she actually does play is conveniently simple thrash stuff with some tremolo picking but definitely no "shredding." At the end of the DVD you'll find the toll free number for the Great Kat Hotline! I called it and its been disconnected. I tried the long distance number too, its her work number! Some agency, the message said "press 4 for Kat." So not only is this dvd worthless, but I am also calling the Godawful Kat out on feeding us nothing but lies for years. Great Kat I'll believe youre a shredder when you come to my house and play guitar for me. Until then, you are total bullshit.

1 comment:

Velg said...

You seriously have destroyed all that was left good in this world. I had hopes that if some floozy could shred like that, I some day could too. Wanna tell me Santa's not real too?